I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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