Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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