Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
