Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize