He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
