I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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