Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
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im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
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HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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