your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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