After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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