Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
