She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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