Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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