We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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