Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
