Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
