I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
