So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
