I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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