how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
