It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
