you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
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I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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