Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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