who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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