1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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