i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
