yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
