Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
