as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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