Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
