hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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