Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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