he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
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