Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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