redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
