:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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