This girl is more easily done than said...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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