Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
