I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You left your underwear on the fireplace
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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