Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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