Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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