It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
