A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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