So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Farmville is her only friend.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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