If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
