i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
