I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
