i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize