sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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