We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
