I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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