it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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