best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
