what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
