he was CRYING into my vagina
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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