I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
