last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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