PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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