pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
