We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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